Immaturity
by JadedAttitude143
Summary: "They were so…immature. That was it. Their relationship had been sustained on an angry passion that couldn't last forever." Bade! Oneshot. Beck and Jade become friends after their break-up, but the lingering immaturity from their relationship interferes.


**Author's Note: Hey! So, I was rifling through Microsoft Word, and I found this oneshot that I had never completed. I began it the day after "The Worst Couple" and forgot about it. So, now I'm uploading it. I hope there aren't too many grammatical errors. I skimmed through it and polished it up some, but I may have missed a few. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.**

Immaturity.

Beck had always considered himself excused from the word. He was the mature one in his and Jade's relationship-he was the one who planned the dates, controlled Jade's fiery temper, and took responsibility for his actions. He didn't need Jade, Jade needed him. It was almost as if Jade couldn't hurt him, he was that disconnected from her in a way.

Those thoughts were what really made him immature, and even arrogant. Was Jade the better one, then? No, she was flawed, he would be the first to admit that. But he had been wrong, so wrong.

This was what Beck mused over as he drove. He wasn't going home, no, his thoughts were far too incoherent for that. Instead he was speeding down roads to any given place, he'd stop when the road did.

A number was haunting him: ten, and the way Jade said it. He heard the desperation and shock in it. And he'd heard the footsteps pounding away on the pavement and the ignition of her rusty pickup truck. She needed a new car, he'd thought it many times but never said it. Money was an insecurity of hers.

The last fleeting image he'd caught of her face was absolute pain-as she drove away, her face had been illuminated by the bright lights of the Vega home. The only time he'd seen her that way was when her father had yelled drunkenly at her and he'd caught her crying about it. He'd held her in his arms now, but he couldn't do it now.

His breath was taken away by that memory and his foot left the gas pedal. Had he hurt Jade as badly as her father had? He'd sworn to himself he'd never do that. Fortunately, he was in a parking lot, oh, and had his subconscious guided him here? It was their place; he was in the currently deserted park where they'd first met. And for the first time in a long time he heard a sob escape him and a confused and hurt tear trickle down his face. He was tired of being strong, for himself, for Jade, for anyone.

Time to grow up.

/

Strangely, Jade didn't cry. It was odd, she'd almost expected it. And when she'd walked away from the door, her face had crumpled, but tears didn't flow. She managed to drive herself home, whispering to herself under her breath. It was only one sentence: "He didn't care enough to come." And it hurt, it hurt so much to be abandoned after four years of convincing herself that she'd found the one, that someone who really loved her despite all of those awful things about her. And she could love him back. Because she'd loved Beck, despite every particle of her being screaming, "No!" knowing that to allow love was synonymous with death.

Jade yanked the keys out of the ignition too hard, and they scraped against her finger and left a sliver of a cut that stung much less than her heart did. She kicked the door open and tossed the keys somewhere in the yard. She'd find it in another lifetime, when her heart wasn't screaming in pain. That thought seemed to pull the plug, and her brain shut down entirely.

Her feet marched up the stairs, sounding as pained as a prisoner's footsteps. She sank onto her bed and stared blankly at the wall all night long, not thinking at all, just letting the pain overwhelm her being.

It hurt. She had always been known for her brutal honesty, that wouldn't change now. It hurt, and she told herself so.

/

Nothing existed until the ringing of her phone hours later. For a foolish second she hoped it was Beck, hoping to fix his mistake. But then she realized it was Cat. She yelled a strangled, "Shut up!" and tossed it under her bed, half hoping it would break.

It was time to face the music now, wasn't it? Oh God, how could it be, after four years, surviving every test thrown at them, that her and Beck were…over. And she'd done it all to herself. She'd been the one to count to ten, declare themselves to be over if he didn't come. And she'd lingered at the door, maybe if she had opened it she could be in his arms now, okay. But then she wouldn't be Jade. Because when she was hurt, she _ran_.

Once bitten, twice shy. That was her.

They were so…immature. That was it. Their relationship had been sustained on an angry passion that couldn't last forever. They'd been walking a tight rope, and whatever had caused Beck to finally snap had caused them to plummet off and shatter into a million pieces.

Well, it was time to forget. People thought she was bitter now, they should see her without Beck.

/One Month Later/

He missed the way she'd looked at him. Her blue eyes were icy at best to others, but for him, there'd been a spark, a hint of playfulness. It had made her human; it had kept her from living up to her name. She didn't want to be jaded, Beck knew.

Now, they were stones. Cold, unfeeling stones that would never shatter. Sometimes he stared at her when her attention was elsewhere, wondering if she still loved him. Beck loved her. He'd messed up. She'd never be able to love again. Beck wasn't stupid. And he wasn't sure he'd be able to love either. No one would be as prickly, or, shockingly, understanding.

It wasn't as if he never got to see her. Despite their break up, they still hung out with the gang. But one-on-one time was absolutely nonexistent, of course. They talked some, they laughed some, they agreed, but they never, ever, fought. It was strange. He'd forgotten what it was like to be Jade's _friend. _After the initial week of mourning the break up, the pain had been replaced with a deeper wound that would always have a pang when acknowledged. But Beck was able to ignore it because it meant remaining as part of Jade's world. She still needed him and vice versa, and a silent agreement had been formed.

Their relationship hadn't been discussed even prior to this newly formed friendship. There hadn't been a conversation, an "okay, we're officially broken up". There was just a pained glance and the slam of a locker. And a conversation he overheard between the janitor and Jade, who accused her of going on a scissor rampage. Other than that, it was as if he and Jade hadn't dated for the past four years.

So, maybe he still missed her. But he had to grow up and truly deserve her. He began by avoiding all other girls, Cat and Tori exempted. He even told Trina off, in the hopes that word of it would reach Jade. He made a list of reasons why he loved Jade and then hid it in the picture frame he still had that showcased him and Jade on their first date. He'd wanted to take the photo. Jade rolled her eyes and called his idea stupid. She gave in anyways.

And he did one other thing that may have been suicidal. Well, two suicidal things, actually. But they both turned out alright. He talked to Andre and Tori individually about it.

Andre was first. He didn't even need to explain his mistake, Andre voiced it in a second. "Man, you screwed up. How'd you let Jade go?"

"I don't know," replied Beck, his voice weighted. "I just did. What do I do?"

"Okay, I got to tell you something. You might hate me for it, but I think it'll help."

"What?"

"Alright, so you know a couple of months ago when Jade and I were working on that song?"

"Yeah, she told me about it. Said it was fun."

"Yeah, but y'know, we were up late at school, it was like what, two a.m.? And, uh, well…she was being nice. Which, I know now Jade can easily be nice, but it surprised me. I had only seen her be…well, evil."

"That's Jade." Beck's laugh was light.

"No, but…it made me think I was in love with her." Andre said in one hasty breath. "It was just that it was late and I was writing a song and I didn't realize she had feelings until then…but seeing her like that, even after I got over my little crush on her, made me be a little nicer and understand her a little better."

Beck sighed. "What's this got to do with me and Jade?"

"Okay, well…what made you fall in love with her?"

"Her laugh. Not her mean laugh, but one that…honestly, makes her sound just like a little kid, so sweet and kind. When I heard it… I just knew."

"Did she laugh like that a lot when she was dating you? I mean, when you were on a date or something, and she wasn't being Jade."

"Yeah…up until like, the last three weeks of our relationship. She'd just be…defensive. Terrified, really. And then I just kept on jumping on her case and snapping at her and she didn't deserve it, something was wrong, I know it!"

"Man…that's it. Something went wrong. You…were sick of each other, weren't you?"

"Yeah…thanks, Andre." Beck knew Andre had more to say. But even that conversation had sapped him of his strength.

Tori was next. "Oh, Beck…you and Jade…I'm sorry…" Her words were scatter brained; they would've almost made him laugh in another lifetime. That was Tori for you, moving too fast and voicing half-baked thoughts.

"Help me."

She sighed. "I don't know if I can…you screwed up, to be honest." Tori got up-she'd been sitting across from him in an almost confrontational way- and sat on the couch next to him. She paused for a second, and then rested her head on his shoulder. Her hand slipped into his. It felt right. "You both screwed. You two were always so dysfunctional. I never understood." There was a pregnant pause as Tori frowned at the carpet. "What did she do after I kissed you on my second day?"

"Blew up then avoided me for a week straight. We moved on though, eventually. It built on her paranoia, though. There were so many times where…I dunno, I just…wasn't loyal. Like, I ignored the fact that I was her boyfriend and…I didn't flirt, I didn't, but I didn't really give other girls any reasons to stop."

Tori squeezed his hand. "Beck…you don't get her back yet. She…she's been messed up."

"Funny…every time I've talked to her she's been almost happier than when we were dating."

"'Cause she's faking. You know Jade better than anyone else, do you honestly think she'd give you the satisfaction of seeing her cry?"

"I wouldn't take _pleasure _in her pain."

"You know what I mean. She's basically sworn to never let anyone in ever again, only in doing so she accidentally let me, Andre, and Cat in. Like, almost all the way in. She…how could I ever have said half the things I did about her?"

"You? No offense, but you? She let you in?"

"I know. Crazy, right? But…she just…" Tori sighed and looked up at Beck. "You can't ever talk about this, alright Beck? I'm telling this for her, not you." After he nodded, she continued. "I found her crying about you…the whole story came out. I think she talked for an hour straight. And ever since then, we've just been…friends. And I'm glad."

"Huh."

/

And now, here he was, Jade's semi-friend. The thought seemed almost foreign, but belonging too. Maybe they were better off as friends, he would think occasionally. But then he would recall the heat of her body against his when she kissed him, and any hope of forgetting about her faded away.

It was strange. Being without the other they had both constantly relied on made them mature, although neither understood why.

Perhaps it was the ache of longing that did the treacherous deed.

**Author's Note: So, what'd you think? I thought that the idea of them developing a friendship seemed fitting considering what we've seen in the past few episodes (them hanging out, smiling at the Platinum Music Awards, etc…) and I was excited to explore a little bit. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. This is technically the first thing I've written for Bade, and I'd love some feedback!:)**


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